Guess what? I’ve finally came to terms with the fact that I am good. I’ve finally realized that all of this stress is going to pay off in the end. In the past three months I’ve single-handedly (well, not completley-God gets a lot of credit) managed to get a new job and work 20 hours a week, be sick for more than 2 weeks of the school year, and kept a 3.85 GPA. Yeah, I’m not going to lie, my friends all have 4.0’s but ya know what? I’ve done my best, and that’s okay with me.
This weekend, all I’ve had is social. Party, Work, Journalism. More parties, more work. It’s been kind-of and “Out of body experience” though. I don’t know what my best friends are thinking. If they want to treat me like this, are they really friends? Of course they are, but sometimes I’m not myself around them. Am I the bad friend? Why do I feel pressure from them? Is that even supposed to happen?
On the way to the do concessions at the U, Whitney and I got lost. Actually, we didn’t know where we were going in the first place. After emotional breakdowns, her car almost litterally breaking down, and about 27 phone calls to Jen, we finally made it. It’s wired how emotions tie you to other people. We did well (even though we had to follow Wessman to make sure we didn’t DIE!)
So latley foe one reason or another, I feel like I haven’t fit in. Part of it’s me, I know that, but it’s still tough. I know I don’t like to get outside my self a lot, but I’m working on that too. I have figured out, I do a whole lot better in small groups than I do in large ones. I like talking to people personally, where I can foucus on them rather than a huge, confusing disscussion. Right now I’m just kind of looking inward. rediscovering myself. I like that. Rediscovering.
I’m trying not to make these post so sad sounding, but it’s not working too well. I’m just super tired. After virtually no sleep last night, and working all day today, I’m beat. I just need to follow my own advice-breath a little.