This is a frustrating topic to me. Why do relationships change so much? I’m not just taking about romantic relationships, but that’s a big part of it. I guess it’s just because we grow up. We change, we learn, and we become different. I’m not saying it’s bad, just hard.
Romantic relationships in High School are constantly changing, and I always have this voice in the back of my head that tells me it’s going to be like this when I get married. Not that I’m ready to get married or anything, just seeing people get divorced all the time, it’s like “why can’t you just work out you’re differences?”. It makes the whole idea of marriage fairly unappealing.
Relationships with others are just the same. People come and go, but some leave you with impressions.
Family. I hate losing. At five-thirty in the morning yesterday, my Grandma called. I was the only one up, and as I looked on the caller ID and saw it was her I knew it was something bad. I couldn’t answer it, so I just stood looking at it until it stopped ringing. I woke up my father and had him call her back. My grandfather was in the ER, and they didn’t know what was wrong with him other than that he was in a lot of pain. A few words my father said as he climbed back into bed hit me with a terrible gut wrenching nausea. “I’ve already lost a sister this year.” he said, and it scared he to the core. I don’t know if I could handle losing an aunt and a grandfather. Also, I know that if my grandfather passes that my grandma won’t last long. They’re too old, just not in great health. as it turned out, it was four kidney stones. Not life threatening, just painful. Still, I worry that he doesn’t take care of himself.
Friends. I can honestly say that I have the best friends ever. That sounds so corny, but I love them to death. It’s not perfection that makes a great friendship, it’s the getting lost and the cheese fries. The crazy laughing and the tears. My friends know exactly how to help me when I’m down, which I try not to be, but it happens. Also, losing friends. Growing apart is hard, to say the least. There are people who I grew up with that I haven’t said a word to in three years. It seems s strange how we change. One of my best friends in elementary turned a bit ‘emo‘ and so all the sudden we don’t talk anymore. It’s not like I’m judging her, we just don’t. Of course there’s the growing closer too. People you’ve known forever, but never talked to and all the sudden it’s high school and you have classes together. Instacal friendship.
I’m doing good. I feel like I have my life settled down now to a point where I can enjoy just being me. I still do a lot of homework, but in my spare time I’ve been writing and have a new-found love for piano. Don’t get me wrong, I still struggle. Sometimes it seems like the world is fighting my every footstep, but I know that I can fight right back. Growing up is hard. Losing is hard. Life is hard. If it wasn’t, it would be pretty boring.