The incapabilities of Allee

I’m so overwhelmed. How am I supposed to teach a group of ten year-olds about the old testament? And not just any ten year olds. This is a group of kids that come from completely different backgrounds. I can name a few Sunday school teachers that have really changed my life, and I’m just not sure that I have that ability. This position is going to require that I trust the Lord in a way that I never have. I guess that’s the point of callings, eh?

On Tuesday, I go to girl’s camp for the last time. I almost didn’t go, but it’s one last camp with my little sister before I head off into the big wide world of college, and that alone makes it almost worth it. I have so many good memories of camp. It’s lost it’s sparkle a little in the past two or three years, but it’s still good to get away. We all have to get away from the world every once in a while. 🙂

Sigh. There’s lots of stuff running through my mind. In the next few months, I’m going to have to deal with the death of a close family member. I’ve never had to do that. My aunt passed away more than a year ago, but that was almost expected, and gave her relief from the world. I remember feeling almost guilty at the time, but I never felt terrible about it because I felt that there was so much reason behind it. This is a little different, and I don’t know how to deal with it. It’s a lot different actually. How does one deal with death? Despite knowing that I’ll be with her again, and that the Lord knows what he’s doing, it’s still painful. And scary. And overwhelming. I’ll deal with whatever comes, but it doesn’t make it easier.

Who’s idea was cancer anyway? Pssshawww.

I’m done ranting and questioning. Sigh.


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