Giving all my secrets away

The title in no way means I’m a fan of the overplayed OneRepublic Song. I’ll admit, I’m a sucker for the cello in the first 10 seconds, but it’s all downhill from there.

My week, however excellent, has been riddled by fear. Pluralize that. Fears. A general philosophy I carry into life is focus on now and glance a step ahead every few hours. I always figured that if I’m doing what love, and doing it well, that life will lay a nice little path in front of me. It might have a 7% incline, but I can take it slow.

Too bad my pretty little path has been run over by bulldozer. Well, maybe not yet but they mailed me a warning.

I know that eventually I’ll be doing exactly what I want to do. I know I have control. I know that fear is antithesis of faith.

One of the only things I remember poignantly from 8th grade is a poster that sat on the left side of my diet-soda obsessed health teacher:

“Worrying is like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.”

In the words of OutKast, “Tru Dat”. (Not that I listen to OutKast. Google, baby)

That was a slight rant. Ranting blogs are one of my pet peeves, so I’ll stop.

In case you haven’t been reading this blog, I love, love, love, lists. Love.

These are my not so deep and dark secrets:

  • Occasionally, on the bus I find myself toe tapping to a country song (Don’t worry, I stop as soon as I notice)
  • However disgusting, smelly, and odd tasting they are I really like Ranch Corn Nuts. They’re almost worth the bad breath
  • I like boys with very obvious talents
  • I also like lurps
  • Anything that I do well, I see as my new worst so I can work above it
  • Sometimes I listen to Celtic music
  • Also, about twice a year I listen to Kayne West
  • I don’t like the idea of my parents dying. That’s not really a secret, I’m sure most people feel the same way. Mostly I’m scared of them being gone when I’m too young to deal with it. 
  •  Except for running outside, I hate working out. I have to force myself three times a week. 
  • I don’t own one pair of cute shoes
  • Unless they’re mine, I really don’t like animals. I also have a bad track record. I killed my fish and lost my dog. 
  • My writing hasn’t improved that much in three years. It’s sad, and I’m working to change it
  • No matter how good of shape I’m in, I will never be a size 1. Or 3. Or 5. Etc, etc. 
  • Make me laugh and you’ve won my heart
  • I could eat pizza, pasta, and orange juice for months
  • I sleep a lot, at regular times. I’m rarely in bed after midnight.
  •  I’m a crier 
  • I’ve seen every episode of gilmore girls. When she’s not doing the nasty, I want to be Rory. 
  • In three years I’ll be as good of an editor as mine have been to me
  • Even though I’m always looking to improve, I like who I am. It took me 5 years to get here, so I’m not going to let anybody blow it.

After reading Dusty’s column of valentines songs, I had to look this up. I’ll say upfront,  I am not a fan of most music videos. This is beautiful and heart wrenching, all in seven minutes.

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