Our poor children

A texting conversation (textation?) between Allee and Alyssa (who are much too far apart for their own good):

Alyssa: Will you and Tisha be at school this weekend?

Allee: Why?

Alyssa: Kristen told me that your spring break is different than ours so we were just going to come see you. But Tisha just informed me that it’s the same, so i’ll see you anyways.

Allee: Deal, but you still need to spend a weekend here.

Allee: and anyways is not a word.

Allee: And i’m sorry I forgot to text you back yesterday, I fell asleep.

Allee: And I’m naming my son Llavar*

Alyssa: Yeah, I was breaking against the english norm 🙂

Allee: Just don’t start using “alot”.

Alyssa:May zues strike me with a lightening bolt first.

Allee: Llavar…frediko…absolm…and a daughter named Hagath. Sick of my texts yet?

Alyssa: No, i love them with every fiber of my being. Every. Fiber. And I want jarryd to have brown eyes.

Allee: We will have the best children ever! They might hate us vicariously through their facebook statuses though…

Allee: And I want a daughter named Willow!

Alyssa: By then reality will be obsolete anyways (haha) and you can’t marry your stepfather. It’s illegal.

Allee: I won’t marry Will Smith, I’ll just find a hunky, black TV star who stars in second-rate films and we will have a son with great hair who is a karate master and friends with j beibs and a daughter who has the ability to rap “it’s a hard knock life”. IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK?

Alyssa: That sounds perfect. Hot black men are the best. So lets say I marry this names jarryd, that means I would be living in mt. pleasant, smaller than Ephraim. Yeah, I’ll just marry jimmer.

Allee: Back to jarryd in a minute….you said the j-word, do you really want to get me started?

Alyssa: You disapprove?

Allee: I hate him. The most overrated player I’ve ever seen. Not to even start on all the stupid BYU fans  that idol him. They treat him like the Israelites treated their golden statues. He probably won’t even make it to the NBA…if he does he’ll be a let down. Also, who names their son Jimmer. It sounds like something I’d do to a broken lock. Even his last name…fredette? Like a small french boy who wears pink dresses. I can’t wait until we “jimmer” them in the NCAA tourney. Number one seed my bum.

Allee: Now tell me more about what’s his face…mt pleasant? I’m sorry, you’ll have to live in Emery for eternity.

Allee: Xanadu! I have to have a daughter/son named xanadu!

Alyssa: I’m not really into jimmer. I will definitely haveto babysit your kids, especially little Xanadu. I’ll tell you more about mt. pleasant  boy when I see you. 🙂 And please, no eternal emery.

Allee: Wait…he’s real? I thought we were using hypothetical names. Mind blown.

Alyssa: Haha, nope. He’s definitley real. My imaginary boyfriend’s name is Esteban.

Allee: I have never seen this side of you before. What a player. Look what Ephraim is doing to you. Before I know it, you’ll have a sleeve of tattoos and a boyfriend named bud who drives trucks. Hypothetically of course.

Alysaa: Sleeve of tatoos? I think you’re confusing Ephraim with…another place.

The step-dad comment had me lost too.

In case you were wondering, we confuse people in real life too.

*Many years ago, while working concessions at the University of Utah, Alyssa and Allee met a half-deaf  90 year-old man who did indeed want popcorn. His name was Llavar. He become the epicenter for many nights of earsplitting laughter,

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One thought on “Our poor children

  1. I have a life-size Jimmer poster on my wall. I also have a cut-out of his face on my door. It's fun. Also, 47 point games are pretty impressive, so I don't really think he's overrated. Maybe he won't do well in the NBA, because he's short, buttt…. in the college world, he's the best, pretty indisputably I think.Also, 27-2 is in the best record in the league. (tied by like 234895729387 teams, but still.) BYU has been beating ranked teams and killing non-ranked teams, so a number-one seed if the chips fall right is perfectly reasonable.But then again, I am a little blinded by the glare of the sun shining off the Golden Jimmer statue in my bedroom. :)P.S. His name isn't really Jimmer. I was so sad when I found out… it's just boring old James. Lame.

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