Fresh-meat.

I have now made it through almost two weeks of living without a mommy, and three days of college classes. Without further ado…

What I’ve learned from 3 days of being a Freshman
Sleep is a commodity.
I don’t actually miss much, except the humor and wit of Steph-en.
Pick boys like you pick watermelon. With care.
With that…baking food for the male sex changes lives.
I like spinach?
Living with roommates is like when I was eight years old and I got to have a sleepover and stay up all night doing stupid things, and then I would crash the next day. Except, it’s everyday.
I’m really glad to not be an agriculture major. Or a family and consumer science major. Or a math major.
I’m scared to death to be a journalism major.
Logan is devoid of radio stations.
I am not special. There are at least a thousand people exactly like me.
E-textbooks are the best money saving worst idea ever.
I won’t buy toilet paper for my roommates again.
On that note, I really do love my boy-crazy, meowing, ramen noodle cooking, roommates.
Like….a lot. Almost as much as I love laughing at My Super Sweet Sixteen.

And most ironically… I learned I’m not actually a freshman. Just in personality.

Because everybody’s mother would let them have a buff, tattooed, european man at man at thier sixteenth birthday party.

Loyalty to…

You know what makes me feel sick?

My my best friends telling me things about each other, that they can’t actually say to each other.

It makes me feel dishonest. And, kind of sick.

The worst part is that if they can do it to each other, they can do it to me.

I need college.

The Home Stretch

In no less than two months, I will be living far away from home.

Well, two hours anyway.

I will be dirt poor. All I will do is study, because I think I’ll have 21348 credit hours. I think I can handle. 21350 credits would be too many, but somehow I’ll manage.

It feels like the home stretch. I’m buying sheets, and I have a laptop. Our dorm room has a grilled cheeser. I’m stocking up on shampoo and deodorant. I’m working desperately to save money.

I have a feeling the the next two months will be the longest…and the shortest of my life.

At this time two years ago I was…

really excited for junior year.
loving the attention of a much older guy, who now lives 500 miles away (For eight more months anyway 😉
really excited to be on the newspaper staff. Haha. Ironic.
friendless
In shape
Tan
Debtless

It’s weird how time changes who we are. I hate it when people tell me not to change. Isn’t that what life’s all about? We spend our whole lives perfecting who we are and creating who we want to be. I’m glad that I’m not the same person I was that crazy summer after sophomore year. It wasn’t bad…it was wonderful. There’s just a time and a place for everything.

Amen.

Oh, and my posts are pretty much same old now. I’m going to start adding pictures. Pictures that have stories behind them Muhaha.

Once apon a time, I really wanted a frazil in February. You see, I used to work at a pool that had the best frazils ever. In hindsight, they probably only tasted good because it was 104 degrees. So, I dragged my friends to a billion gas stations to find one. We did find a frazil machine, only thanks to Peter Barrett. Turns out it was disgusting. Except, Kristen loved it because I think she may have never tasted sugar before. The end.

Potential

Sometimes my days have the potential to be on my “most disgusting days ever” list.

For example…

if it were production week…

and my whole family was on edge…

and all my friends were grumps…

and I was a cramp monster…

and some people in my English class hated me…

and I had to go to work…

and I got so frustrated in math that I wanted to find a time machine and beat the man who founded matrices with a big wooden bat…

But then, I tell myself it could be worse. I could have a bad zit. Or I could be a hairy homeless man trapped on the coast of New Orleans.

And then, all the potential bad things seem really small. This is especially true after I run, or get financial aid money.

So, the moral or the story?

Potentially bad days, can end up being okay.

At least today.

I’m on top of the world.
I’m doing exactly what I want to do.
I’m rushing forward, and trying not to consider what I’m leaving behind.
It’s not easy. Sometimes, like today, I sit down and cry not because I’m sad, but because I realize that there are things I can’t control.
Like growing up.
I’m a living oxymoron.

Today, I got some news that should have broken my heart, or at least made me a little sad. But, somehow I had the ability to let it go.

That is very un–allee like.

Everything is happening so fast. Wessman told us about the new editor in chief today. It was a whoa moment. I was so there a year ago. I’m not sad to be leaving high school. The past three years have been unbeatable, I’m just ready for something new. However, it will be incredibly hard for me to leave relationships. I’ve never had to do that before.

Top ten things I’m looking forward to in the next two weeks:

10. Running the 5k
9. Spontaneous
8. GNO!
7. Watching everybody else be in charge of the paper
6. 80 degree weather
5. The return of lunch in the park
4. Running everyday
3. The cheap-o date 🙂
2. Finishing the last AP English book
1. Being completely free of boy-Dom.

Prom ’10…and other things that are going too fast.

I’m in a weird stage. The last three months of high school seem to drag on forever, but in a way it’s too fast. Oxymoronic, I know. I’ve been to senior prom. There’s only two issues of the paper left, and only one that I’m in charge of. Tour is coming. It’s my last spring break living at home.

You know what I’ll miss the very most when I’m at Utah State?

My mommy.

Looking Forward

I can’t believe next week is production week again. I’m going to die.
I’ve learned a very valuable lesson this week. It’s something that I knew, but it didn’t hit me until yesterday.

You can’t force other people to change. The only thing you can change is your attitude. And, sometimes by changing an attitude you can change a person. But only sometimes.

It’s been a good day. One of the best in a few weeks.

There are things all around me just…happening. I can’t control them, and whether I like it or not they’re there. The best thing I’ve learned to do is go with the flow. Sometimes the waves will be high, and sometimes they’ll be low but at the end of the day I decided what I’ve done with my time.

Without further ado….

Top Ten “I’m looking forward to…”

10.Being done with Hamlet. Yech.

9. Distribution day!

8.The school board meeting being done and over with.

7.Reading my March Madness tonight

6.Spring Break & Bear Lake

5.My WUE decision

4.Not math.

3.Graduation.

2.Utah State. Bomb. Dot. Com.

1.TOUR!

Allee. Needs. A. Hug.

My feelings are so hypocritical.

I feel secure in where I’m at, but at the same time I want to move.

I’m ready to get on with my life, but the first step is hard. So hard.

Sometimes, I feel like when it comes to the male population, I always lose. I always fall for the guy who’s taken, or shy, or uninterested. It’s something that I’ve had to deal with my whole life, and it takes its emotional toll. Here is my top ten for the week:

10. The newspaper is out. Finally.

9.I get to play the Wii tonight. With a guy I kind of adore.

8.Even though I dropped my phone in the bathtub, it works.

7.SHAWWWWWWWNEEEEEE.

6. Utah State. Even though it took me four months to make a desicion, I feel really good about it.

5.Tomorrow, I’m fasting with a purpose.

4.I get to tacos tonight.

3.The blueberries are on their way to another churchball championship.

2.I have a job that I love. Pray that I don’t lose it, okay?

1.March madness has started, and not the sports version! I’m so thrilled to read the Book of Mormon cover to cover again.

I have bad days. I had quite a few last week. But there are lots of good days too. The world balances out.

So I have a question for those reading this. Do you think there are times when you just shouldn’t help people? Even if the person with the problem is one of your closest friends, is there a time you step back and choose not to be involved?

I don’t know the answer. I’m not sure I want to, because it means I might have to do something about it.

Goooooaaaalss

Goals for the next six months:

Pick a college

Write a sonnet cycle

Make sure Ms. Parrish can never complain about my wrinkled papers again

Study harder in math

Compose my senior piano piece

Get enough scholarships to completely cover college

Get in shape

Get published

Find a newspaper job

Sleep

Vacuum my car (This really shouldn’t have to be a long term goal…)

Bing Bang Bong

I am a giant ball of feelings.

Roll me in coconut flakes and you would have an excellent cheeseball.

I have faith that no matter what I choose, it will work out. I know that life throws curveballs and you just gotta take ’em.

But sometimes curveballs hurt, especially when they’re chucked at your face.

I have a brain-ache.